To Hell With the Music You Like

If you're like me, and you absolutely hate cardio, you probably need to listen to music while you commit suicide doing it. For me this need is not taken lightly. I need music on the treadmill like a car needs gas. Music is more important than water at that point.

When I first started working out regularly, I loaded my mp3 player with a shitload of songs I like. Songs by Marilyn Manson, Nightwish, Prince, Queen, Smashing Pumpkins, Pink Floyd, and some other stuff. The music is a real FSM-send because it gives me something to focus on while I'm putting myself through cardio hell. But I noticed after a while that during some of the songs, I would be in sheer agony. Then another song would come on and the agony would go away. I didn't know the reason for this fluxuation.

Then I noticed that it was only certain songs that made me suffer. I liked the songs, that was for sure. If I didn't like them I wouldn't have put them on my workout playlist. But now I know what it is: I can't listen to music I like during my workout. I have to listen to music that puts me in the right mood. It doesn't matter if I enjoy the song or if I think the song is silly. If it puts me in the right mood, it will work.

So I deleted my workout playlist today and added ONLY songs that did the mood-changing thing for me. The results were clear. I got on the treadmill and really enjoyed the entire cardio part of my workout. Most of the songs were silly, but they did it for me.

Bicep Curl Killed Me

Today I tried curling 25 pounds and I swear, I think my arms almost fell off. I couldn't do 15 reps either; I had to stop at ten. I also had to take last week off because for the first time since I went vegan, I got sick. I'm pretty sure it's because I went and partied my flabby ass off over the weekend and smoked about eighty-four unfiltered cigarettes. I only smoke when I drink, and I roll my own because I can't stand the taste of those chemicals and crap they add to packaged smokes. Plus it's cheaper and less damaging to the planet. But with no filter I take easy drags rather than sucking the shit down like it's oxygen.

The running is getting easier. I've found that it's mostly a positive attitude that makes it that way. On days when I'm feeling really good and totally digging the music, it's much easier to run. On days when I'm not mentally with it, the run is murder. Oh, and now I'm running fast enough to hop over to the U.S. Army PT standards and find my run score. And my run score for this week is (wait for it!) SIX!!! Yes, six. Out of one hundred.

*shoots self in face*

Okay, there's work to be done still, obviously. Baby steps, folks. Baby steps.

I've Reached the Magic Moment!

Yes, it happened this week. With my biceps. Let me explain.

My workout regime is very mathematical. To find out my run speed on the treadmill or how much weight I am to use, first I take the number week of the year. This week is the 13th week of the year. So the number for this week is 13.

To find my run speed, I take the number of the week and add 30. Then I put a decimal point in the middle. So the treadmill speed for this week is 4.3 (13+30=43, put a decimal point in and you get 4.3). And I stay on the treadmill for 30 minutes each time.

With the weights, there are three categories: light, medium, and heavy. To find my light weight, I take the number of the week and add 10. So my light weight for this week is 23 (13+10=23).

To find my medium weight, I take my light weight and double it. So my medium weight for this week is 46 (23 x 2=46).

To find my heavy weight, I take my medium weight and double it. So my heavy weight for this week is 92 (46 x 2=92).

I do 15 reps on each machine.

The hardest weight machine for me has been the bicep curl. Since day one, this machine has been the hardest. When I first started working out, during week one, the weight I tried curling was only 10 pounds and I still couldn't do 15 reps. Now the weight is at 22.5 (that's the closest to 23 pounds it goes) and before this week I have been able to do 15 reps, but this week I stopped at 12. That was yesterday. Today I did it again and bumped it up to 13 reps. This means I'm making progress! YAY!

Oh and I've lost four pounds so far. I'm at 161 now. Double-YAY! I rule!

Yes, I'm a Fat Fuck

Eight years ago I started stripping, and I quit two years ago. For those of you who didn't know this, pole-dancing is one kick-ass workout. The problem is that when you do it every other day for hours on end, and you lap-dance, and you walk around in stiletto heels, and then you up and stop, never to do it again, it takes a toll on your body. What did it do to me? It made me gain a ton of weight. Although I can't entirely blame my quitting that job. I stopped stripping and then went through a state of depression and I ate rather badly. Fast-food restaurants were a frequent destination for me. This was obviously before I went vegan.

Anyway, now I weigh a whopping 165 pounds. I've never weighed this much in my entire life. And I'm not going to stand around and let this continue. So I've signed up at a gym (my DBF bought my membership) and I go there every other day, sometimes more. My goal is to look like this again:





See those pants I'm wearing? They are literally hanging off me in this picture. I'm wearing two belts on their tightest settings just to keep the pants up. I'm guessing that I weigh around 130 pounds in this picture. Anyway, I want to wear those pants again. This picture was taken on July 19, 2005.

I have a pretty decent system that I created on how to get back in shape. I've been using it for two months and the only change I've seen is in my calves. They aren't flabby like they used to be. They're very firm. It's not the change I've wanted, but it's better than nothing.